Today D and I celebrate 13 years of marriage!
We are curious by nature, and over the years we have been testing theories about marriage.
You could say we are the Myth Busters: Marriage Edition.
Fact or Myth: Marriage will ultimately fulfill me, making all of my princess dreams of happily ever after come true.
Answer: Myth. We are humans with the built-in ability to disappoint one another on a somewhat regular basis.
Fact or Myth: After a number of happily married years, we have this "marriage stuff" pinned down.
Answer: Myth. We are humans with the built-in ability to disappoint one another on a somewhat regular basis.
Fact or Myth: We are the perfect married couple. No problems, only smiles.
Answer: Duh...should I even write myth? We are humans with the built-in ability...you get the picture.
Fact or Myth: Marriage requires a lot of effort, willingness to change, and even more commitment.
Answer: Fact. Thankfully, God gives our sorry human abilities Super-Human powers (also called the Holy Spirit) and helps us to grow and be able to put forth the needed effort, change and stay firm in our commitment to one another.
Fact or Myth: I feel blessed to be celebrating our 13th anniversary knowing we love one another and are committed to our marriage for the long haul, even when times are tough.
Answer: Fact. We could be a statistic for divorce rates for some Army survey. Or a statistic for people living in loveless marriages. It has not always been easy; in fact, many times it has been extremely challenging, painful, and difficult. But it has been good, and most definitely worth the effort.
While we de-bunked a lot of the preconcieved ideas we had going into marriage, we have gained something priceless:
The Truth.
Marriage is meant to be life-long, and we are to help one another in our struggles along the way. Usually we only hear of divorce, or a couple celebrating 50 years of marriage, or of a couple "having some problems."
No one tells you what the other side of "real marriage" looks like.
Like when you discover something about the other person that you feel like you can't live with, yet here you are, a Believer, knowing God already knew this would happen before you ever got married.
Or when circumstances are so ugly and dark you can't even imagine the light, the good times, coming back again, much less being a part of your daily life.
No one talks about real, personal issues, especially regarding marriage, until AFTER the divorce. But then it's too late.
If more people talked about what is really going on with them, without degrading, dishonoring, and disrespecting their spouse in the process, I honestly believe we would find something interesting:
We are not all that different.
There are different levels of the same issues, but pretty much, they are at the core the same issues.
Why is knowing that helpful?
Because then you know there is not something "wrong" with your marriage. It is normal. And we are all just working through our stuff, trying to come out on the other side with our marriage, with love and respect for one another still in-tact.
So while I may not have the glass slipper approach anymore, I definitely am living proof that happy does exist on the other side of the darkness, that God does restore and bring light and life back.
All He asks of us is to keep going and trust Him with the result.
1 comment:
Happy Anniversary guys!! We will be celebrating 10 years this year! And ditto on all accounts mentioned in the post! It's all true. With all the ups and downs marriage is what it is. No matter how we thought it would be. It's hard, real hard sometimes, but it teaches and you stretch and grow. And other times it's easy and smooth and lovely. Really comfortable like a pair of perfectly worn blue jeans. I gotta say though, through it all I'd have it no other way and I wouldn't spend it with anyone else. Hope ya'll day was blessed and wonderful! God is good!
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